There's a big difference between being a bad person and being a good person that has done bad things.
It's a subtle shift in thinking, but it might be one of the most important shifts: There's a big difference between being a bad person and being a good person that has done bad things.
I spent a lot of time in my life with the belief that I was defective in some way, that there was a quality inside me that made me unfit or unworthy, even rotten. And if I screwed up and faced anger or disappointment, I used it as justification for that belief. It was almost like returning home.
And if things were going well, something would nag at me and remind me that a reckoning was coming, that I'd be ratted out as unfit, unworthy, even rotten.
It's weird, I used to have these dreams where I killed someone and I was about to get caught and I was terrified, but it also sort of felt right. It felt right.
And that part of me is a darkness, it's a secret. Why would you want to tell someone you were unfit, unworthy, even rotten? And it grows in secrecy, and it claims territory, and it adds a "but" to all of your accomplishments and gifts. "I did that, but..." "They like me, but..."
It says, "remember, in the end the only thing you can count on is me, because I know you're unfit, unworthy, even rotten." It gets angry easily, it hears blame in people's voices where there isn't blame, it equates disappointment with disgust. It measures friendship and love by what can be taken away and not by what is there.
And that is what shame feels like. Shame is that secret belief that you're unfit, unworthy, even rotten.
To me, shame is very different than guilt. Shame is "I am a bad person," and guilt is "I'm a good person who has done bad things." And shame takes away one of the best qualities that you have, namely the courage to take responsibility for what you do. And the courage to understand why you do act badly sometimes and where those impulses come from. And the courage to do something about it. In guilt, there's hope. In shame, there's none.
Shame is restored from a Time-worn Book found in Kamdelimar. To restore the book, bring it to an Ancient Enchanter and play the Song of Time or Song of Healing before activating the Ancient Enchanter.
Shame is written by an unknown author. No strong clues regarding its author's identity exist, and its presence in a ruin complicate the matter of identifying the author.
The book expands on a quote with Fading Twilight, Page 4.
Background and Inspiration Edit
The book is a transcript of a video by Ze Frank that shares the same title. It was chosen to allude to thoughts that Zelda or the Hero of Time or Hero of Winds may have had during the Last Great War of Hyrule and to depression brought on by an undefeatable calamity. The book was placed in Kamdelimar for this reason, implying that it was written by the Hero of Winds. Ze Frank's video was also chosen because of its conclusion addressing courage.
The video was a large inspiration for the naming and progression of The Ruptured Towers - Guilt and the boss arena Shame.